Well, you talked to me today, that's a step better than yesterday I suppose. Looking back on things over the last month, some things have become obviously clear, and I guess I was stupid for thinking they might have been anything in the first place. I wont go into detail here. But I did have a realization about things today. I guess that's good for me...
So today I did something I told myself I wasn't going to do. I went and saw Jeska. And honestly I think it was in my best interest that I did. I think about how bad I hurt over that whole incident, and how I was on the verge of going to a doctor about it. Honestly I can say that talking to you, and everything else that happened between us really helped me to get over the whole situation. Seeing Jeska, talking about Erik. Looking at his dog tags on her neck, and looking at her rings, it didn't hurt anymore. And I felt really proud of myself for it. I'm also proud to say that I stuck to my promise I made you, even if it has been hard these last few days.
Now if I could just fix this one other part of my life that isn't right...I'm hoping that if I just leave you alone for a few days maybe things will get better. I hope so, I don't really know what else to do. I hate knowing you're upset with me. Not to sound like I'm in middle school, but even little things like dropping me off your top friends, it just stings a little because it proves just how upset you are...
On another note. I hate being at home and not in class. Not cool. I sit here in my room, and do nothing. This week is especially bad because, well, I don't have a car to come and go as I please. (I'm not asking anyone for any handouts, I'm just stating the truth) At least it's only 5 days. However, December is going to be awful. But that's life! *fake smile accompanied by thumbs up*
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