Confession

I have a confession to make. Although I guess it's not one that no one really didn't already know, but I just...I don't know, perhaps I just need to get it out.

I am NOT over you. As much as I tell people I am, as much as tell MYSELF that I am...and as much as I try to hide it with other things...it's undeniably still there. Nagging at the back of my head. I'm still in love with you. And it really makes me sad, mad, it makes me a lot of things. I've been in love before but never like this and then on top of that lost it. I've never been able to just think about someone and automatically start crying.

I DON'T want these feelings. I've tried for almost 5 months now to say I didn't have them. I've liked other people, yet still it comes back to you. I can't shake you. Your new life is happy and you don't have to worry about me anymore, why can't I have the same? Perhaps I don't deserve the same because of what I did years ago, who knows.

I just want my heart back.